“Never eat before bed.  Also not a good idea to eat your bed.”

“Never bite off more than you can chew.
Of your bed.”

“Well, you made your bed, now you have to lie in it.”…
…”No I don’t.  I’ll just eat it.”

“Sheesh, give it a rest.”…
…”I can’t rest.  I ate my bed.”

“Did you make your bed today?”
…”No Mom, I ate it.”

“Tired of all these crazy diets.”

“I dunno…lemme sleep on it. After I eat it.”

(HUMOR DISCLAIMER: I am NEVER making fun of or mocking people. That is not who I am. I am always only trying to bring levity to a situation).